Choosing Offense
I get it. There are a lot of opinions out there, a lot fo statements, tat get your blood boiling faster than you can take a deep breath. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought the word ‘idiot’ or rolled my eyes while scrolling through Twitter. Then there are times that I honestly feel like perhaps my countrymen are the least educated people on earth…
My thoughts aren’t pretty sometimes, but I doubt I’m much different from you or others. In fact, I know I’m not. Because when I even dare to put something that questions the status quo on Facebook, the reaction is fast and furious. Literally. People type like Sonic the Hedgehog all about how angry they are that I don’t agree thought for thought with them.
Now, there is one meme going around that says
Everyone who posts this on their socailmedia that I’ve seen instantly gets hit with angry people shouting at them about their judgement and how they must not have kids at home being homeschooled and how dare they boil this epidemic down to ‘learning to play guitar’.
But you know what? Everything is a choice. There are things about this quarantine that I don’t agree with, that I don’t see the numbers adding up on, that seem out of proportion or like it isn’t enough. I don’t agree with all of my friends and family members either on their level stress or their opinions or the way they think all the things should be done or what they assume I should be doing or not doing. And that’s ok.
As I scrolled through a couple of very crabby responses on this (no I did not misspell that. I mean crabby. Not crappy. Because their opinion is valid and totally fine. But it comes off as angry.) I realized more than ever that offense is a choice.
Now, I’m not saying that every time we have a reaction of rolling our eyes or shaking our heads that we should feel bad. I think that there is a different between calling a judgement on an opinion and taking offense. It’s easier said than done, though. Because in our society today we are all allowed to be offended by other people’s opinions. And I have to admit that there are some people’s opinions that conure up offense within me. Especially when someone is lying or blatantly taking someone out of context. It drives me nuts. But still, my offense is a choice.
When I read the news and I see horrible opinion pieces that demonize people simper or disagreeing with the journalist or our Congress yet again not doing anything real, I admit that my mood plummets.
It’s because I’m taking offense. I’m choosing to be fully offended by people’s opinions and lack of responsibility (in the case of Congress. But seriously, do they even know what work is….?)
My goal is to really step back each time I feel offended, admit it and ask myself why. There are so many things that don’t offend me. I wasn’t at all offended that people either misunderstood me the other day on Facebook or flat-out disagreed with me to the point of being mad at me. I honestly didn’t mind. And I calmly replied, tried to reexplain myself and then offered my sincere feelings that it was okay if we didn’t see eye to eye or weren’t totally on the same line there. It’s just ok.
And I want to be able to do that with everything. Even politicians. Which will be hard. But more than anything I am choosing to learn to not take offense. Coming out of this quarantine, I want to be the person that people just can’t offend. Not even if the New York Times blames me for the Coronavirus. I want to be able to choose not to be offended by that, but to be able to say, “I don’t agree, but you are allowed to have your opinion’ and to walk away with completely peace about it because the offense was never able to penetrate my heart.
So, coming out of this quarantine, I will take the course of a new skill: that of choosing peace over offense and actually meaning it.