At first we were told to do it. That it was something to be proud of. Women especially were good at it and we took on the praise with dignity, curtsying to the adoring crowd like goddesses showing up for their fans. When the din of the applause died down, we blew back our hair from our faces while balancing a toddler on our hips, stirred the sauce with one hand while opening the dishwasher with our toes and wondered aloud what the heck else they thought we were going to do?
But now all the experts agree that it’s something we shouldn’t do. That it actually keeps us from ever focusing well on one topic and therefore we are doing our work in a half-arsed manner, not really putting 100% into anything.
I think they’re possibly just jealous that we can literally do ten things with only two hands while holding a baby. But jealous or not, they have some neurological science to back them up. So I decided to put away my pride and look into stopping my habit of multitasking.
One of my greatest problems right now is focus and I’ve self-diagnosed myself the medication of Stop Multitasking. But the medication is bitter and hard to swallow. Doesn’t matter that I leave myself notes, I try to ignore such notes and pretend like it might affect OTHER people, but I’M actually fine.
It wasn’t supposed to be hard at all. January 1 came and I went right into the new resolution. All I had to do was concentrate, get one thing done and then move on to the next. I used to do it all the time. Sort of. I’m pretty sure, at least.
The reality is that multitasking is my drug that I can’t seem to really stop. And when I force myself to not multi-task I can see my hand twitching from the lack of dopamine. A month has passed since I decided to do a 63 day cycle of intense journaling to check in on my mindset, attitude and emotions. It requires listening to some short lectures and then answering questions. Do you want to know how many times I had to rewind because I decided to do something else while listening? OVER HALF.
Like an addict in therapy my conversation before starting goes a lot like:.
“Don’t touch the mouse.”
“It’ll be quick.”
“No. Don’t touch the mouse. I said NO!”
“But it’ll be quick. No, okay, you’re right. We’re trying to do this the healthy way.”
The days that I sit down determined not to touch anything I feel a discomfort that I’m sure many women know. We have always been multitaskers and now we’re told it’s bad for us. And since we all want to be healthy we try to stop. We claim we can stop. Any time, any place. And yet, when we TRY we find it impossible.
Or is it just me?
How to solve this problem? I’m not sure yet, but I have done a few new things. Firstly, I try to write everything in my agenda. Everything. It’s jam packed. And not just to list what I need done, but to use it as a placeholder for the ideas that pop into my head while I’m doing something else.
Second, I’m leaving myself messages that pop up on my phone every few hours.
Third, (and the biggest)I took Facebook off my phone and only check it once and a while (it’s actually quite boring now…. My Facebook dopamine has definitely taken a hit. Which is good.) and logged off Twitter for good.
I have things I want to get done which is why I’m trying so hard to get this focus thing down. And while I seem to succeed for only a second before falling right back into my cycle of multitasking, I’ve seen enough evidence in the moments that I listen to my inner therapist to see that it’s worth pursuing until I’m free.
*I, in no way at all, wish to make light of addictions to anything. The comparison here is not to make light of drug, alcohol, social media, food, sex or any other harmful addiction.