Stop telling everyone else to do it.
You do it.
The hardest thing about being a leader is going against the grain of society. It’s easy to step up onto a soapbox and preach to the world on things that look good on social media. It’s easy to feel fulfilled by that for a moment because of all the heart and comments of ‘this’ and ‘exactly’ and ‘heart emoji’.
Let me let you in on a little secret. There are times when you will get some pushback on social media, especially if you are on Twitter. There is no reason for you to be on Twitter if you can’t handle pushback, in fact. But over all, those who answer y our posts and memes are ONLY THOSE WHO AGREE WITH YOU.
Why am I yelling at you in all CAPS like a boomer? Because I want you to fully understand that. There is no mic drop if the majority of those who disagree with you never say a word to you. It isn’t a glorious moment of the heavens opening up at your ‘wise’ words or ‘spot on’ opinions when the who disagree with you scroll without saying a word. And why do they do that?
American Society is notorious for being unable to have an engaging discussion.
I’m taking 98% of us. Most of us claim that we don’t want to ’cause division or arguments’. I think that’s a horrible thing to have to say. Why? Because it means that you and me are awful at LISTENING and not being OFFENDED by opinions.
It’s sad and astonishing that we are unable to talk to other people with curiosity instead of animosity. It is a sad state of affairs when we assume the worst in people’s actions, thoughts and feelings if they are even a slight degree different than our own.
Reopening the economy is a heavy one these days, though it really shouldn’t be. We should all be able to listen to each other in our opinions and our own life experiences. I don’t know how many times I’ve read finger-wagging comments from people who live in New York or New Jersey about how people in the rest of the country ‘are ignorant, selfish and just plain stupid.’
There are those who love or hate the president, those who love or hate Dr. Fauci, those who love or hate their governor ….and those who don’t have any idea of what is going on.
Soapboxing won't change anything
We all know that America is unable to hold a conversation. Right or left, we are unable to do it. Someone out there is getting ready to tell me it’s all Trumps fault, but honestly, one man doesn’t have that kind of power. And again, it comes from both sides of the aisle. So why would those who dislike Trump be controlled into behaving this way? No, this is a problem we’ve probably always had, but it is now more magnified by social media and the strange atmosphere going on politically in the world right now.
But soapboxing won’t change anything. What will change something is you.
Me.
Deciding to dig out those instant feelings of disdain or annoyance and grow ourselves into being better . It isn’t preaching at others to be better than will change the world, it is you being better. Me being better.
Have you ever watched the British Parliament discuss issues? Holy mackerel! They yell at each other. It’s unbelievable. And yet it is one of the best forms of entertainment in my humble opinion. First, because the Brits have stunning insults that Americans can only hope to emulate. But don’t think that we have the higher ground just because our Congress acts in a more ‘dignified’ manner a they then go out on television and trash each other. I prefer the face to face yelling.
I prefer passionate discussions over privately bashing in another Facebook forum where people agree with you. We are all needing to adapt to this new world where each day we are faced with people who have no problem with shoving their opinion in your face. We can learn to deal with it much better than we’ve done so far. And it’s time we do so.
Challenge Yourself
This week, challenge yourself to patiently and politely express your different view to someone. As though you care for that person. As though you love them. Practice what you preach, in other words, because we all seem to preach tolerance and love and acceptance, but very few of us actually practice that.
Approach another person’s perception and opinion with curiosity. Let go of the idea that engaging in a conversation means it’s a competition of one trying to convince the other to change their mind. That isn’t what a conversation is.
Approach the other person with the assumption that they have the best intentions instead of assuming they ‘don’t care about people dying’ or ‘just want socialism’ or ‘don’t care about mental health, suicide, etc.’ Instead assume they haven’t seen it from your angle.
Seek to have a conversation again.
It won’t be easy. People will yell at you. The immediate reaction will be to either back down or yell back. Just take a breath and calmly say you were just looking for someone to have a conversation with. Then let it be. Many will give you attitude, resist the urge to answer back to attitude. That person isn’t interested in having a conversation. But you can learn from the experience.
Be the ACTUAL change you want to see in the world. Stop preaching about it and do it. And I say all that while looking in the mirror myself.