Flash Fiction
| Janice shoved another fistful of gummy worms into her mouth and chewed them miserably. Her jaws hurt as the gelatin warmed and squished colorful sugar between in her molars. What used to be an enjoyable experienced had turned into one of horror. Though was it really ever that enjoyable? |
| The instant gratification of the sugar, the jolt of pleasure, the small burst of energy, all ended up resulting in regret. Because she never did know when to quit. An entire paper to finish and edit? That could mean one pout of toffee in her belly before her brain received the full message of the pain in her teeth from the sugar breaking down on her enamel. Sometimes she swore she could feel the cavities growing and her hips spreading. Then, just as the sugar crash almost hit, she would drop drag herself up from the couch or chair, shove herself into some leggings and make herself go for a run. Which typically started and ended as a walk. She doubted she was kidding anyone when she talked about her runs. Everyone knew ‘run’ meant walk, and a lame attempt at that. Now, as she finally pushed the two pound bag of gummy worms into the trash, she laid her head down and cried. It wasn’t the sugar’s fault or her lack of discipline. It isn’t that she didn’t want to be healthy. It was that her mind wasn’t healthy. And now that she knew that, utter defeat crashed down over her, enveloping her in its tepid waters. They said it was a stepping stone. The first in a long stretch of many. Right now though her feet were on liquid that rippled underneath her weight. This stepping stone seemed less solid than the gummy worms. Janice eyed the bag in the trash. All the worms were safe in their extra layer of plastic bag. She could grab them out and wouldn’t even have to feel badly about. They weren’t dirty after all. Her eyes widened, the world suddenly blurry through tears. That was the beginning. The point in which this all began. Little twelve-year-old Janice sitting in her cousins living room, pretending her nether regions didn’t feel weird and sore and violated when her cousin handed her a bag of gummy worms. They had been under the sun and almost melted the instant they hit her tongue. With the gooey sugar stuck to her teeth suddenly all the problems of the last few weeks disappeared. For the first time since mama’s boyfriend moved in with them she had the sensation of good filling her. |